


Alone, I Fear

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Canon, Drama, Points of View, Romance, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-11-30
Updated: 2004-12-18
Packaged: 2018-12-27 16:02:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12084432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian wakes up to a world with no Justin after EP414. What would Brian do without his Sunshine in his life?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

_Can't find where I am_  
Lying here  
Alone I fear  
Afraid of the dark  
No one to claim  
Alone again 

_~Avril Lavinge_

**Brian's POV**

The blinding light and the annoying yet incessant beep of my alarm were the first things I noticed, and I rolled over, throwing the duvet over my head. Was it time to get up already? I hit the alarm hard, sending it flying to the floor. I heard it shatter against the hard wood floor with a thud. The damn thing screamed in pain as it went off again. Fuck, I didn't think it could get any more annoying. I covered my ears in hopes of drowning out the dying clock without much luck. I couldn't believe Justin was sleeping through this ruckus! Then again, the blond could sleep through anything.

"Justin." I growled. "The alarm. Turn it off." 

When no response came, I threw the duvet off of myself, intending to shake the blond out of his sleep-induced stupor, but no one was there.

"Justin?" I asked confused. He was always at the loft this time of the morning. It was very rare he was not, unless he had stayed home with Daphne, which I very clearly remembered he had not, and the reason for him staying here. I grinned at the thought before throwing the covers off of my naked body, unplugging the alarm as I went in search of the feisty blond. 

"Oh, Sunshine!" I called. Still no answer. 

Where the fuck was he? He sure as hell wasn't here. My grin faded. I scratched my chin. Huh. Well, maybe he left to get his stuff. Yeah, that was the reason. It had to be. Why else would he left without his protein breakfast? I smirked. It was going to be good to have him back here, with me. I could almost see Justin's things scattered around in my loft. I thanked God for maids. 

I finished off killing my clock and tossed the piece of shit into the trash. I made a mental note to myself to have Cynthia get me another one during her lunch hour. It wasn't like she would care too much. Shopping has always been her past time. Just like it was for most women and queens. 

Turning on the coffee pot, I headed into the shower and took care of my morning hard on myself in absence of Justin. Hell, it wasn't my fault that he missed out on his breakfast. 

 

After my morning shower, I headed towards my closet in search of my favorite Armani suit. Slipping it on, I checked the still-working clock on the wall. There was just about enough time to head to the diner before I had to get to the office for work.

~*~

"Mikey," I slipped in the booth next to the dark-haired man, slipping my arm around his shoulders. He shot me a glare.

"Look, Brian, I don't have time for you this morning." 

I raised an eyebrow. It wasn't like Mikey too try to get rid of me. What the fuck was eating him? Or, should I say wasn't?

"Problems with your wife?" I asked, motioning to Deb, so she'd get me a cup of coffee.

"What the fuck do you want?!" Deb snapped bitterly. God, it seems like the Novotny’s got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

"Coffee. Black," I said with a grin, and then I looked back at Michael when he spoke.

"No, just you." What did I do now? Nothing came to mind. I arched an eyebrow. "You shouldn't be here. So just go."

I turned over my coffee cup as I noticed Deb heading to our table. "Go?" 

"Yes, go. Go now."

"But I just got here." I glanced over at Deb who hovered over me with her arms crossed. "You forgot the coffee," I told her.

"I didn't forget anything. It's you who forgot that you are not welcome here anymore," she said angrily.

"Since when?" 

"Since when?" Deb huffed. "Stop playing fucking games, Asshole." 

"I didn't know getting a cup of coffee had anything to do with playing games." I sighed when the redhead didn't move. "Deb, I just want a fucking cup of coffee before I go to work." 

"Get it somewhere else." Michael spoke up. "Hey, maybe Stockwell even has a free one at the office waiting for you!" 

I raised both eyebrows this time. Stockwell? 

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I looked back and forth between both of them. "Have we suddenly jumped back a year in time? Stockwell didn't win, remember?" 

It was their turn to look at me like I'd grown another head, before Debbie turned towards her son. "Maybe he had too many drugs last night." 

"Wouldn't surprise me." Michael spoke.

I rolled my eyes at them. "Believe it or not, I actually didn't have time for partying last night." I smirked. "Well I did kind of… if fucking Justin into the mattress counts."

"Who?" Debbie asked.

"Probably another one of his tricks." Michael shrugged. 

"Now the asshole remembers his trick's names," Debbie scoffed. "It must be a cold day in hell today."

I chuckled a cough of amusement. "Justin isn't a trick. He’s your bus boy, remember? Sunshine?" This was fucking ridiculous. 

"Sunshine?" She questioned with a confused expression. And _I'm_ the one playing games?

"Yeah, Sunshine, this tall," I raised my hand to about his height, "blond, blue eyes, bunny nose, bubble butt, and one the tightest holes I have ever shoved my cock into."

"I'm sorry I asked," she grumbled and shook her head. "Now are you going to go, or am I going to have to get someone to throw you out?"

"Deb, I'm a paying customer here."

"Your money isn't any good here. So get the fuck out of my diner!" she ordered.

"Deb, all I want is a fucking cup of coffee. Is that too much to ask for?"

"YES!" both Novotny’s cried out. 

I jumped a little, startled at the actual venom in their voices. What the _fuck_ was their problem?

Trying to hide the fact that they had actually hurt me, I stood up, sending a glare in both of their directions. Maybe it was just a bad morning. I shook my head, heading out of the diner and towards my corvette. Maybe work would cheer me up. Plus, Justin usually stopped by. A quickie in my office would definitely help my now bitter mood.

Pulling up in front of Kinnetik, I parked my corvette, surprised when I noticed no other cars around. The new paint job I had just gotten done on it didn't seem to be there either, for paint was peeling off of the building, like it hadn't been occupied in years. 

Confusion settled in, and I made my way up to the front of the building. The door was locked. I specifically remembered telling Ted to open up for me the night before. 

What the fuck was going on? 

Pulling out my cell phone, I dialed the familiar seven numbers of Ted's cell, figuring he must know what the fuck was happening. Strangely, I got an automated message telling me that his cell phone was either disconnected or no longer in use. Weird. 

I stared through the dusty door taking in all the filth and noticed that Kinnetik was no longer on the door. "I have woken up in the twilight zone," I mumbled under my breath as I dug through my key chain searching for my key, only I found none. Fuck! 

My cell phone went off. Seeing Cynthia's name appear, I answered it. "Where the fuck are you?!" I shouted into the phone.

"Excuse me, Kinney, but I believe that is my line. Where the fuck are you?!"

"Where do you think I am?"

"God only knows, but I know where you are supposed to be. You're so late. Vance is about to have a cow. Which I wouldn't mind seeing myself, but if you don't get here quick, we're going to lose Brown Athletics. Please tell me the storyboards are with you."

"Vance…? Storyboards…? Cynthia, did you have a long night last night?" I asked. 

"I should be asking you the same thing!" She groaned. "So you're telling me you don't have the storyboards? Just get to the fucking office!" She barked, hanging up her phone.

I held the phone to my ear for another moment before hanging it up. Deciding to play along with whatever the fuck was going on, I got back in my corvette, heading towards Vanguard. Well, that's where the call had come from. 

I walked into the building, taking the elevator to my office. Sure enough, Cynthia was outside, sitting at her desk while reading what looked to be a romance novel. 

"Brian!" She yelled, once she spotted me. "Get in your fucking office! Vance is in there waiting for you. I wouldn't be surprised if he has some rope in there with him. He looked about ready to strangle you last I saw him." 

Raising an eyebrow, I turned and headed for my old office. Sure enough, Vance was there, sitting on what used to be my desk.

"Brian." He spoke once he saw me, jumping up from his seated position on my desk.

"Vance." I spoke, confusion probably evident on my features. Something was really fucked up here. 

 

"Cynthia told me you don't have the storyboards for Brown Athletics. I gave them to you last night." He sighed. "They're going to be here in three hours, so you better know where the fuck they are, or I'm going to fucking kill you." 

I sighed, scratching the spot between my eyebrows, "Ask the art director?" 

"Brian," He gave me a warning look. "Just have them." He then promptly left my office, leaving me here, confused and having to get storyboards to him in three hours. 

I had to find out what the fuck was going on. None of this was making sense. Plus, it was giving me a fucking migraine. 

I studied the office. It looked just about the same it did a year ago before the prick, Vance, had fired me. What am I doing here? I don't fucking work here. Fuck the boards! Fuck, Vance! And I do mean that in literary way only. Why would I care if he lost Brown Athletics? Actually, I do care that if he lost Brown Athletics. Then I could assign them up for myself. The account belonged with me any way. I'm the one who got him the account in the first place. 

Taking one more look around the office, I groaned. Someone has gone to a lot of trouble to play this joke on me. Why am I been honored with this and why everyone was playing along with it was beyond my understanding. But hell if I'm going to keep playing along. I've got better things to do with my time.

"Fuck this shit!"

"Cynthia!" I yelled as I walked out my office.

"Yes, Kinney?" she answered without even looking up from her book.

"Get your nose out of that sappy retarded novel. And get my things packed up and put them back in my office at Kinnetik."

"Huh? Kinnetik? Brian, what are talking about?" she inquired still reading.

I ripped the novel from her hands. "I'm talking about you stop reading this trash..." I tossed it into the near by trash can.

"Hey..."

I continued, "Getting up off your lazy ass, finding some boxes, going to my office, packing my things into the boxes, taking down to Kinnetik, and unpack them into my _real_ office." 

"Real office?" She inquired. "Brian, are you _sure_ you didn't party a little too much last night?"

"Did Mikey put you up to this?" I snapped, getting tired of this bullshit. I couldn't think of anyone else who would think of an idea such as this one to play on me. 

"I think what you need, Brian, is some coffee." She stood up, starting to walk into the lounge. 

"Cynthia," I started. "I'm fucking serious." 

"So am I," Was her reply.

Getting sick of her, I entered the elevator deciding to forgo work for the day. I ignored her attempts to try to get me to come back. I wasn't going to listen to her shit.

Picking up my cell phone, I decided to call Justin. Hopefully he wasn't in on this too. Like when I had called Ted, I got another automated message telling me that his phone was either disconnected or no longer in use. 

"What the fuck?" I cursed into my phone, slamming the object shut and shoving it back into my pocket. This was getting to be too much. 

 

I made my way out of Vanguard, hopping into corvette and starting to drive back to the diner. I was going to fucking set things straight, and right fucking _now_.


	2. Alone, I Fear

_Can't find where I am_  
Lying here  
Alone I fear  
Afraid of the dark  
No one to claim  
Alone again 

_~Avril Lavinge_

It wasn't until I heard the screech of the siren before I realized how heavy I had been pressing the gas petal. "Fuck!" I groaned as I stared at the flashing car behind me through the rear view mirror. This was great. Just what I needed.

I stepped on the brake, veering my car off to the side of the road. The officer pulled up behind me, and I prayed the cop was gay. Maybe I could give him a blowjob instead of getting a ticket? 

I rolled down my window as she approached. Shit, a female. There was no hope there. I gave her my best seductive smile anyway.

“Sir, did you realize you were going 30 miles over the speed limit?” 

“Officer, I’m sorry.” I licked my bottom lip. There was no response from her. She was probably a dyke. “I’m just _really_ late for work.” I tried to come up with a good excuse.

"License and registration," She ordered.

"Sure thing, Officer," I said as I reached over to the glove compartment, and fished out my wallet. I continued to smile my charming grin with still no response from the ice queen over there. 

She took both from me. Studying at them only for a second, she looked back at me. "You're Brian Kinney? Brian Aidan Kinney?" she questioned.

"Last time I checked," I remarked.

"So your Stockwell's boy, huh." What?!

"Stockwell's boy?"

“Yeah, you got him in office. Next you know you’ll have him winning the presidential election.” She smiled, winking at me. “I’m not going to give you a ticket.”

I furrowed my brows, this was just getting weirder and weirder.

“Okay…”

She smiled at me, pulling down her sunglasses a little to expose her eyes. “Have a nice day, Mr. Kinney.”

“Uh, thanks. You too.” I mumbled, rolling up my window and starting to drive towards my destination. I checked the car’s clock. Mikey would be in work by now. Checking behind me to make sure the strange cop’s car was gone, I hit the gas yet again, speeding towards Michael’s comic shop.

~*~

"Mikey!" I yelled storming into the comic store, "I want to know what the hell is going on, and I want to know it now!"

A geeky guy who was talking with Mikey quickly made his exit.

"Thanks, Brian," Michael whined behind the counter. "You’ve really got some nerve showing up again."

"Mikey, what the fuck is going on?" I demanded.

"What the fuck is going on... How the hell should I know?!"

"Please, Michael, tell me."

"Tell you what, Brian?"

I sighed, running my hands through my hair. This was frustrating me beyond belief.

“Everything!” I shouted, not able to keep the anger out of my voice. “Why the fuck does everyone think I’m working for Stockwell? Why am I at Vanguard? Why are you all treating me like shit? Where the fuck did Kinnetik go?” I sat down behind the counter in Michael’s seat. “And, Justin’s cell phone isn’t even working!”

“Who?” Michael asked for the second time that day.

“Fucking stop it, Mikey.” I hissed. “I’m sick of this. Whatever game all of you are playing, I want it to stop. _Now_.” I growled. 

That only earned me a strange look, “I don’t know why the fuck you’re acting this way, but I’d appreciate it if you’d leave my comic shop.” 

I rolled my eyes, “You’re avoiding the subject…”

“Brian, maybe you should lay off the drugs.” 

“Would you guys stop accusing me of partying too hard! I told you, all I did was fuck Justin last night!” I practically yelled. 

Goddamn it! Why won't he just answer my fucking questions?

"Brian, I don't give a shit who you fucked last night! So what you hit your head or maybe you’re having a mid-life crisis. I don't care, Brian. I really don't. Your little memory loss at the moment- you would like to call it, isn't my problem. We're not friends anymore. Just disappear like did you did five months ago. And leave me and my family alone," he demanded.

"No!" I snapped. I got up and grabbed onto to Michael's arms and pinned him to the counter. 

"Let me go!" Michael struggled to fight me off without any luck.

"You really want me to leave, do you?" I inquired.

"Yes!" 

"Fine. I will, but not until you answer my questions," I told him. "Okay, Michael..." Michael looked away. "Okay?"

When he still didn’t answer, I grabbed his chin forcing him to look at me.

“FINE!” He finally relented, yelling in my face. “What do you fucking want to know?”

“First of all, why the fuck is Stockwell suddenly in office after I put all of that work into making sure he didn’t win?!” 

Michael stared at me. 

“Next, why are you acting like Justin doesn’t fucking exsist?” 

More staring. The man was starting to get on my nerves. 

“Fucking answer me!” I snapped. 

"Are you serious?" Michael started laughing. I continued to stare him down, and his laughter faded quickly with a sigh and a roll of his eyes. "You didn't make sure he didn't win. You made sure he did win, you asshole! He won by a landslide and thanks to you we've got cops on every corner. Just about every place on Liberty Avenue has been closed down. If wasn't for Carl, Stockwell would have closed down the Liberty Diner as well. Fuck, Brian, couples are even afraid to hold hands without getting in trouble with the cops. You made the gay the community hell for us!"

I let his words play around in my head. It was still not making any sense, because this couldn't be true. This wasn't what happened. Or was it? I shook my head. No, this wasn't true. Michael was lying to me, and at this point, I didn’t care. All I cared about was finding Justin. "And Justin? Where the hell is Justin?"

“Who the fuck is this ‘Justin’ you keep talking about?”

It was my turn to laugh. “Justin! The fucking persistent blond that wouldn’t take no for an answer when I told him I didn’t do relationships!” I got a blank look, so continued. “My well…” I said, pausing, not sure exactly how to refer to Justin. “the person I fuck more than once.” I settled with.

Michael laughed again, genuine humor evident in his voice, “The person you fuck more than once, Brian? I’ve known you for what? Nineteen years? And, you’ve never fucked someone more than once, unless of course you forget you did them!” He continued. “I thought you didn’t do that. What happened to that one-time only rule?”

I stared at him for a moment, noting the actual confusion lining his features. He really didn’t know who Justin was? How the fuck could that be possible? 

"Michael, are you okay?" 

Michael and I turned our heads to the front door and saw a very concerned Ben standing there. 

"I'm just fine. Brian was just leaving." Michael shoved me off of him. Since I was in such a confused state of mind I didn’t even bother to hang on to him. Anyway, I'm sure Benny Boy wouldn't have liked it if I did. I could feel his eyes burning into me as he opened the door for me to go. I glanced back at Michael who began sorting some comics, ignoring me. I sighed and took my exit.

"Well, fuck!" I mumbled. I dug through my pockets until I found my lighter and a cigarette. Lighting up, I inhaled the bitter toxins into my body as I tried to figure out my next move.

Liberty Avenue, I figured would be a good bet. See if Michael was telling the truth about cops being everywhere. Then, I’d know whether it was me who was insane, or Michael.

~*~

Sure enough, cops were fucking _everywhere_. Something I had not noticed this morning. I figured it was because most of them were around the clubs. Woody’s seemed to be the only bar that didn’t have a ‘CLOSED’ sign on the door. Even Babylon, the club I adored, was closed.

I sighed, pulling out my crumpled pack of Marlboro’s and pulling a cigarette out, smoking another one. I lit the object up, inhaling deeply. 

And that’s when I spotted him.

I _could_ spot him from everywhere. Sometimes without even seeing him I could tell he was near. Justin was walking down the street, clutching the hand of a tall brunette. His hair was longer, like it had been a year ago, and he was staring at the buildings around him, obviously annoyed by all the ‘CLOSED’ signs on the doors.

Deciding to try my luck, I approached the blond, ignoring the brunette by his side.

“Justin?” 

Justin stopped with the beefy brunette in tow. Two pairs of blue eyes stared back at me as Justin answered with a wearied voice, "Yes?" 

"Where have you been? And why does your cell phone say that it's been disconnected?" I demanded in a harsh tone. I didn't mean it to sound angry, but hell, I was angry. 

Justin studied me with puzzled features. "Excuse me... do I know you?"

Oh, fucking christ! "Ah, yeah."

"I'm sorry. What's your name?"

Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable. "Brian Kinney," I snipped.

"Brian Kinney?" He repeated my name rolling it off his lips. "Brian Kinney... I know that name." I'm not amused.

"Oh, you're that ad man at..." Justin and I both looked at the man standing next to him. "The popular ad man at Vanguard, right?" Justin went pale as a sheet and gripped tightly to the man next to him. The sight made feel ill.

"I was the ad man at Vanguard, but now, I have my own business." Well, I thought I did. 

I turned my attention back to Justin. "We need to talk." Then I added. "In private." 

"About what?" he choked.

"Our partnership."

With a shaken voice, "Look, Mr. Kinney. I'm planning on tell my family this week. I swear I'll tell them everything. So please I beg of you to not tell them."

"Tell them what?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"About us."

I smirked. "They already know."

Justin turned green as his eyes grew wide with threatening tears. "They do? Everything?" I nodded. "Oh my God, Kel. They know. I think I'm going to be sick. What are we going to do?" He asked him. 

"Well, honey bunny." Honey bunny? "It's why came here to do. So they know. They still need to hear from your sweet lips. But won't worry I'll be with you every step of the way," he said rubbing the gold ring on Justin left hand, "through sickness and health, ‘til death do us part."

I raised an eyebrow, “ _He’ll_ be there? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You said my parents know about us!” Justin basically shouted.

“They do.” I replied calmly. “You told them.”

“Wait,” Kel cut in. “Mr. Kinney, we should be asking, what the fuck are _you_ talking about?” 

“And why are you acting like you know me so well?” Justin cut in.

I threw my hands up in the air in an exasperated-like fashion, “Fuck.” I hissed. “YES we know each other!” 

“I don’t recall meeting you…” Justin said, his eyebrows furrowed.

“You fucking live… or lived with me.” My voice got quieter as I spoke the last few words.

"What?" They both gasped. 

"Jesus, Justin. Cut the bullshit. I'm really fed up with all this twilight shit. We’ve both known each other inside and out for over four years now," I explained. 

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I think you've mistaken me for someone else." He sounded a bit relieved.

"Not, unless you have a twin with the same name. Do you?" 

"No, but what you said isn't true."

"How come?"

"Well, for one Justin has been with me for the past three years," Kel told me. Three years?

I snickered, "And I'm Santa Claus. The hell he was with you." I got into Kel's space. Clearly he was the stronger man, but like that was going to stop me. I could take him. Maybe.

Justin stepped between us, “Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about or what you’re trying to do, Mr. Kinney, but I really wouldn’t mind if you’d just fucking back off.”

I reeled back, somewhat startled, as if I’d taken an actual blow to the chest. I’d never admit it, but what he said had hurt.

“Look Justin, just stop. I’m sick of whatever game you’re trying to fucking play. This isn’t funny.” I walked over to him. “Just come home, okay?”

“I live in New Hampshire,” Justin replied, almost sarcastically. “So it’s not exactly in walking distance.”

“I told you to fucking cut it out!” I screamed this time, taking a deep breath in through my nose to calm the building anger within myself. 

This time, Justin jumped back, startled at the venom in my voice. I tried to calm down, letting my eyes soften a little.

“Justin-“

Kel cut me off, “Look, buddy, I don’t know what you’re getting at here. But, maybe it’d be best if you left Justin and I alone.”

“Well, _buddy_ ,” I spoke, the anger coming back into my voice, as I invaded his space once again. “Maybe you shouldn’t fucking tell me what to do.”

Kel shoved me out of his face. "Don't fucking touch me!" I tried to returned shove only to find myself on the sidewalk. Does he have any idea how much this suit cost? The fucker! That man was so dead.

"Come on, Kel. Let just go. He isn't worth it," Justin pleaded to him. Ouch! 

I quickly got up. "Oh, that's right. We don't want your bodyguard there to hurt himself."

"God, what is your problem?" Kel inquired.

"At this second, it would be you," I snapped. 

Kel narrowed his eyes at me, “What the fuck is your problem, _really_?” 

“I think I already told you.” I snapped. 

“Well you’re all over my boyfriend for one thing…”

“ _Your_ boyfriend?” I cut Kel off, turning to look at Justin.

Justin looked at me oddly. This couldn’t be fucking happening! Yesterday, he _was_ my fucking partner! Now all of a sudden he was acting like he’d never seen me before in his life! 

“Fuck this.” I hissed, looking pointedly at Justin. “This isn’t fucking fair and it doesn’t fucking make sense!” I threw my hands up in the air, starting to pace. I didn’t care how crazy I looked right now. This was going to drive me insane!

I ran my hands across my face and up through my hair. I wanted to scream at the top my lungs, but instead, I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. When I opened my eyes again, both Justin and Kel were gone. I glanced around, but they were nowhere in sight. Where the fuck did they go? "Fuck!" I groaned. You just had to queen out! 

Taking one more good look around, I headed towards my car. I had to get the hell out of there. This was all too much to swallow. I was going home. Maybe if I could just go to bed, I could wake up to find all of this was just some fucked up nightmare. God, I hoped so.


	3. Alone, I Fear

  
_Can't find where I am_  
Lying here  
Alone I fear  
Afraid of the dark  
No one to claim  
Alone again 

_~Avril Lavinge_

A shot of good ol’ Jack Daniels, that’s what I needed. I headed over towards the kitchen, grabbing the bottle off of the counter and taking a gulp straight from the bottle. The burning sensation felt good going down my throat, and kept my mind off of other matters for the moment.

The ringing of the phone startled me, and I jumped. 

“What?!” I barked into the phone once I had picked it up. I was _not_ in the mood to talk to anyone.

"BRIAN! Where the hell did you go?" Vance yelled in a panic. "And where the fuck are my boards, Kinney?" 

I groaned and began milking the bottle. 

"No, don't explain now. You don't have time. Brown Athletics is going to be here... Shit! Any minute. Just get down here with the boards. We'll chat about this after the meeting." 

I heard a click followed by silence. I shook my head. Vance was the least of my worries right now, and the fuck did I know where his boards were anyway.

I placed the phone back in the cradle, walking over to my couch and leaning my head back against it. I took another gulp from the bottle. This wasn’t helping matters. The alcohol wasn’t keeping my mind off of anything. I slammed the bottle down. Fuck, all this thinking was just making my head hurt. 

Standing up, I grabbed my coat and car key’s, deciding an afternoon at Woody’s might help. At least there I could fuck my thoughts away.

~*~

God, what a miserable sight Woody's was in. It was like I wasn't among the living anymore. Only a few of the walking dead were around drowning their sorrows at a few tables and couple of guys at the pool table. Not even the bartender was worth fucking. Just my luck. I was not getting any breaks today it seems. I sighed and took a seat on one of the barstools. Hell, I came all the way here I might hang a bit. Maybe something or someone would turn up. It wasn't like I knew where else to go. The loft was too quiet, and everything else, but the diner, was closed.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in!" Exclaimed a sour queen's voice.

Emmett. 

I turned around to meet his firey gaze. 

“Honeycutt,” I spoke, over enunciating the ‘t’’s. “I suppose you’re mad at me too?” I asked, thinking back to Mikey’s pissed off attitude.

He glared at me, puffing out his chest, “Well, you _are_ an asshole! I mean, you put Teddy in jail!” 

I raised an eyebrow. Ted was in jail? 

“I didn’t put Ted in jail.” 

Emmett laughed sourly at this. “Okay, I _suppose_ it was Stockwell’s fault. But, you _sure_ didn’t try to stop it!”

He was getting in my face now, so I lifted up my hands, pushing him back a few feet. 

I furrowed my eyebrows, “I stopped that from happening…” 

I stopped myself. I knew where this conversation was leading, and I didn't need the stress or drama it would cause. So now Ted was in jail. It probably explains why his cell phone was no longer in service. 

Kinnetik is gone, Vance still thinks I work for him, Stockwell is Mayor, Justin doesn't know who I am, Ted is in jail... God, I couldn't wait to see what was behind the next curtain. Fuck, what was all this supposed to mean anyway? 

"Stop what from happening?" Emmett inquired with his hands on his hips.

“Nothing, just noth-“ I stopped talking when I realized who walked through the door. Justin and the cheap Hulk imitation.

“What?” Emmett followed my gaze to Justin and his boyfriend. “Find someone good to fuck tonight? Or maybe two?” Emmett snapped bitterly. “Because it’s not like you care about your friends! It’s all about getting your rocks off!”

“Would you shut up for a minute?” I snapped, glaring at Emmett. 

I ignored Emmett focusing only on Justin. Ken... Kim... whatever, grabbed a table for them as Justin headed to the little boys room. Without a second thought, I said as I got up, "I think I need to take a leak." 

"I hope you piss on yourself, asshole!" Emmett grumbled.

Quickly, I made my way into the bathroom to find Justin washing his hands. It wasn't until he was drying his hands when he realized he wasn't alone. Justin looked up through the mirror and saw me. He instantly gave me the deer in the headlights look. Shit, he was going to bolt. Before he even got halfway to the door, I had him pinned to the wall. He struggled against me, but I hung on tightly. "Let me..." I covered his lips hard with my own drowning his cry.

Making sure he still couldn’t cry out, I covered his mouth with my hand when I pulled away from his lips. I moved my mouth to his neck, nipping with blunt teeth at the secret sensitive spot right under his ear that _always_ instantly got him hard. As I suspected, it did, I even got a moan out of him.

With a self-satisfied smirk I pulled away, uncovering my now saliva-covered hand from his mouth. 

“W-what the…” He shook his head, stuttered a little, trying to shake himself out of his lust-induced haze. “What the fuck?” He managed to choke out. His hand quickly traveled to his neck, touching the overly sensitive spot where my mouth had just been. He seemed more concerned about my _knowing_ about that spot and just _how_ he liked being bitten there at the moment, than the fact I had just kissed him.

"Wh... what did you do that for?" he uttered still in shock.

"Because I knew you would like it," I said smugly, "that it would turn you on and make you hard." I cupped his crotch giving it a little rub. 

Justin groaned at my touch but recovered quickly and I let him remove my hand.

"But..."

I arched an eyebrow. "How did I know that?" I whispered seductively into his ear blowing my hot breath into his ear. "I told you. I know you inside and out." He trembled beneath me. "Every sensitive spot on you. What parts make you hard to the parts that made you giggle." I tickled his left side. Justin instantly squirmed as his laughter echoed against the walls.

“But…” He looked confused, obviously not contemplating my sexual advances a the moment, but the fact that I knew so much about him. “how?” He looked down, almost embarrassed, as he spoke his next words in a whisper. “Even Kel doesn’t know about my neck.”

I chuckled, surprising myself by genuinely smiling for the first time in a few hours. “Well,” I reached my hand out apprehensively, letting my fingers run through his shaggy blonde locks, the familiar scent of his vanilla shampoo assaulting my senses as I walked closer to him. 

He let me do this for a moment, before shaking himself out of his stupor and pushing me away. “I’m in a relationship.” He said. “But,” He pointed to his neck. “I still want to know how.” 

“Because I’ve been with you for the last four years?” I tried, knowing that response most likely wouldn’t work.

I was right. The only response I got was a look from him that clearly told me he didn’t believe me.

"Tell me how you really know these things about me?" he demanded in harsh tone. Justin was clearly getting upset. 

I tried to careess the side of his face to help calm him down, but he knocked my hand away. "Answer me! How do you know?"

I bit my tongue. Maybe I haven't been with him for the four last years, but then how do I know these things about him? Why did I have all these memories of us? I don't understand it, so how in the hell should I explain it. I couldn't. I sighed. 

"No one knows these things. No one... but..." He paused for a moment shaking his head in disgust. "Daph. She put you up to this, didn't she?"

“Oh, and I suppose Daphne also knows that when you fuck, you like to do it face to face? Or you like to do it cowboy style? On top, but with a dick inside of you? Or when you get a blowjob, you like to be rimmed first,” I walked closer to him, moving so my mouth was barely inches from his own. I lowered my voice, “Then while getting your dick sucked, you love me to stick exactly three fingers up your ass.” I could see the obvious bulge growing in his pants, once again. “And you _love_ to be spanked. And, well, you’re one fucking loud screamer.” 

I lowered my mouth, moving even closer to him when… Kel walked in. He pushed me off of him in a frenzy, and Kel looked between the two of us strangely for a moment before he turned to Justin.

“What’s taking you so long?” He asked Justin.

"That was what I wondering myself," I grinned. "What the hell took you so long, Kenny? If I had known you would be this long, I would have taken Sunshine here into one of the stalls and fucked him senseless."

Kel began charging over in my direction, and Justin threw himself in front of him. "Kel..." 

 

"Justin..." Kel took noticed of my still fresh beauty mark below Justin's ear.

"Did I say something wrong?" I asked as I raised my eyebrows. "I mean it wouldn't have been like he wouldn't have enjoyed it, 'cause trust me he would have loved it. Right, Justin?"

Justin shot me a glare. "You know what... Kel, kick his ass for me." 

Kel looked between Justin and I for a moment before he paused, not attacking me, he pointed to the mark I had left on Justin’s neck, “Where’d you get that?” 

Justin’s eyes flew to the mirror in front of him, his hand coming to rest on his neck, covering up the hickie. “Um… I… you…” Justin stuttered. “I mean…”

I chuckled, arms crossed over my chest as I enjoyed the scene being played out before me. Now, that piece of shit Kim… or Karl… or Kenny, or whatever the fuck would know not to mess with what’s mine.

Noticing my smirk, Kel turned towards me, and I didn’t have time to react before his fist flew out, hitting me square in the nose.

“FUCK!” I spat, covering my sore and _now_ bleeding nose with my hands. “Motherfucker!”

Kel grabbed my shirt and flung me into the wall before I could do anything about it. The shock of the impact caused me to loose my balance, and I collapsed to hard cold floor. My body stung, and I cursed in pain. Blood from my nose seeped in between my lips. The taste of the warm liquid brought back fond memories of my dear ol’ dad. Oh, _those_ were the days. 

 

I slowly pulled myself of the ground while Kel took Justin by the arm and was leading out of the bathroom. 

"Is that all you got?" I snickered. 

They both stopped and turned to me. 

"Oh, come on. We were just getting started," I smirked letting the blood run down my chin. 

Kel released Justin and walked over to me. _That's it. Just a little closer._

"You just don't know when to quit do you?"

I laughed, licking the blood from my lip, “Trust me. I have a high tolerance for pain.” 

Kel was about to charge for me again when Justin grabbed his shirt, stopping him. “Kel, he’s not worth it. Let’s just get out of here, okay?” 

Kel laughed at this, pointing to Justin’s neck, “Well, apparently he’s _worth it_ enough to give you a hickie!”

“Look… that’s not… it’s not what you think.” Justin stumbled over his words. “He held me down. I couldn’t do anything. His hand was over my mouth.” 

“Got you hard too.” I chimed in. 

That only earned me a glare from Justin and a death-stare from his boyfriend, or whatever the fuck he was in this strange bizarre twilight zone world I had woken up in. 

“I did not get hard!” Justin tried pathetically, though he was turning three shades of red.

“Whatever.” Kel responded, glaring at both Justin and I. “Fuck this.” He turned to me. “I’m not going to fight you.” He then turned back to Justin. “And you… you take me to Pittsburgh to finally come out with your family because you tell me I’m the one, and then you make out with some complete stranger in the bathroom at a bar?” He glared at Justin. “You know, maybe I should just go home!”

“Kel…” Justin pleaded. "Don't go."

"Good idea there. Go home. You're not needed here. Justin has me. And for the record, we’re not strangers. We have been fucking for almost half a decade," I added with a smile.

Justin marched right over and punched me in the jaw. 

I rubbed my chin and laughed. "It's a love and hate thing, you know, Ken. What can I say, my Sunshine likes it rough. Don't you, dear?" 

Justin tried to punch me again, but I grabbed his fist. 

"You're unbelievable!" Justin said angrily trying to free himself.

"I know, honey. I know." I smiled sarcastically, and the blonde struggled some more with me, in a feeble attempt to try to get free.

No such luck. I held on to his fist tightly.

“Okay man, let him go.” Kel started to get angry, walking towards me again, his fist raised.

Deciding I was bruised up enough for the day, I let go of Justin’s fist, rolling my eyes. “Well, you’re no fun, Ken.”

“It’s Kel. K. E. L. Get that straight.” 

“Whatever, Ken.” I was never one for remembering the names of the guy’s Justin seemed attached to. 

“Now what the fuck are you talking about, fucking him for almost half a decade?” He turned to Justin, angrily. “You told me you didn’t _even_ know him!”

“I don’t!” Justin tried, looking with pleading blue eyes at Kel. “I’ve never fucked him in my life! I haven’t even _seen_ him until tonight!” Justin grabbed onto Kel’s burly arms. “Come on. You have to believe me! He’s just…” He turned to look at me for a minute, before turning back to gorilla-man standing in front of him. “A weirdo. I don’t know. Maybe a stalker?”

I laughed out loud at this one. Me _his_ fucking stalker? This was all too much. "You're my stalker, remember?" But of course he didn't. 

"I am not!" he snapped bitterly. "Plus, you're the one following me today." Well, he had a point there. 

Justin turned back to Kel. "Please, Kel, you know I wouldn't get involved with someone that old." Old?! 

"Old?"

"I love you and only you," Justin continued. "And I wouldn't jeopardize us for anything." He studied Justin's face and sighed. 

"Don't tell me you believe that load of shit, Kevin," I snorted. I was starting to get _very_ angry, but I kept my calm, looking between _my_ hot blond and the bulky ken-doll wannabe, standing next to him.

“Look, buddy.” Kel pushed me back with his hand. “I’ve known Justin for three years now and I’m not going to let someone like you sabotage the perfect relationship I have with him. So just stay away from us, okay?” 

That was it. I attacked him, this time, landing a punch square in _his_ nose. He grabbed his nose, cupping it with both hands as it started to bleed. 

“Stop it, you freak!” Justin yelled, looking at me before turning to Kel. “Are you okay?” He cooed to the bulky man. 

This was making me sick. And, knowing I’d most likely get hit again for what I was about to do, but not caring, I grabbed Justin, pinning him to the wall and smashing my mouth to his. Trying to make him remember me with my lips and tongue. 

I grinned against his mouth when I felt him grow instantly hard. If nothing else, I could still turn on the kid. There was still hope. 

Suddenly, I was ripped off of him by Kel who spun me around right into one of stalls. My right knee smacked the toliet hard. "Fuck!" I hissed. I quickly tried to get up but when I put my weight on my right leg, I fell down.

I heard the water running from one of the sinks and Justin's voice, but I couldn't make out what he was saying. I swallowed the pain as I moved to get up again making sure I didn't put too much weight on the right leg this time. 

By the time I got out of the stall, both of them had removed the blood from their hands and faces and were about to walk out, when a police officer strolled into the bathroom.

One of Stockwell’s cops, I figured. Since the man did seem to be back in business. Well, time to milk it for all it’s worth.

“Ow,” I hissed in pain, making show of grabbing my knee.

“What seems to be the problem here, boys?” The officer looked between the three of us. Looking at me, concerned. He seemed to know me.

“Him.” I pointed to Kel. “He attacked me.” 

“Wait… no,” Kel started. “He started a fight!” He pointed at me, looking, in my opinion, more than pathetic. 

“He also punched, Kel!” Justin butted in, pointing to the bruise slowly forming on Kel’s nose. 

“Yeah, well he fucking punched me in the nose too. Then he sent me flying into one of the stalls!” I was starting to get angry. 

“Well you tried to make a move on me!” Justin started.

It was as if the police officer wasn’t in the room anymore, as I hobbled over to Justin. I lowered my voice, “And you liked it.”

"I did not!" Justin cried out with a shaky voice. I smirked as I chuckled a bit. 

Kel grabbed me but quickly let go of me as he remembered the officer who moved in between us. 

"By the way officer, I'm Brian Kinney."

"Brian Kinney..." the officer repeated looking at me for a moment. I tried my best to look like I was in a lot of pain which wasn't too hard to do. "Would you like to press charges, Mr. Kinney?"

"What?!" Justin gasped.

Charges... I held in my smile with was threatening to surface. I looked at Justin's wide eyes. "Yes officer, I would."

"You can't!" Justin shouted.

"But only against that one." I pointed to Kel.

“Wait,” Justin stood in front of me, looking at me with pleading eyes. “Please don’t. Please.” 

I _hated_ that look. Those eyes. It’s like he _knew_ I hated those eyes. Those big blue pleading eyes. The one thing I couldn’t resist. I sighed. What was I trying to do anyway? Get Justin to remember who I was, or get Justin to never talk to me again? 

“Fine, fine, I don’t want to press charges.” 

The cop looked between Justin, Kel, and I for a moment before asking me, “Are you sure? After what he did to you?” 

I looked over at Justin, his eyes were a little watery, “Yeah, I’m sure.” 

"Well, if you're sure..." He stared down Kel. He then walked over to me. "Here let me give you a ride to the hospital and get you checked out." 

"That's okay. I don't think..."

"Mr. Kinney, I think it would be best if I take you. If I don't and Stockwell finds out about this, I'll be up the creek without a paddle as they say." I groaned. I fucking hated hospitals, but it didn't look like I would be able to change the cop's mind. Fuck!

"Fine." I allowed the officer to wrap my arm around him as he had me lean into him. "Justin, you're coming?" 

"What?" the blond asked looking at me oddly.

"I said you’re coming with me to the hospital. Or would you rather we go down to the police station?" I inquired.

Justin looked between Kel and I. 

“Without him.” I motioned with my head towards Kel before Justin could ask. Justin looked at Kel apologetically before he followed the police officer and I out of the bathroom.


End file.
